The Burning Candle
As I sit in my office on this snowy Sunday afternoon, I’m trying to get away from the household scurry. I have two candles flickering in front of me. I couple this with ambient chill music and watch the flames dance to the soft music. It occurs to me that I sometimes feel like one of these little burning candles. Can you relate?
I can smell the burnt cardboard used to light the candles and I can see the charred little glass cups that once held solid red candle wax. Surrounding the glass cups are metal heart and bird designs that are bent and worn. And around the lit candles are opened note books, various papers (all of which are extremely important to someone), a huge calendar page and writing implements of all kinds. If you could pan out further, you’d notice more rooms that need work, more people the need helping, a meal that needs cooking etc.
That’s me. ¾ of the wax is gone and the supports are bent and worn. The pretty glass is charred and dirty. The flame is so small it’s extinction is always threatened by the melted was that surrounds it.
But there it is still dancing….
Week 2 recap.
My goal was to increase my deep breathing. Well I did and I do consider this a success. But I did so in a way that was surprising to me. I did manage to add a fourth day to my practice of concentrated breathing, but I found it difficult. It was quite the challenge to find the time away from, well, life. Two things occurred to me this week. First thing, as a hypoglycemic, I have no choice but to take time to eat (very healthy, specific foods). In that case, as a crazed, self-employed perfectionist, I should have no choice but to take the time to practice concentrated breathing. Second thing, timing the length my practice takes is kind of stressful. Maybe, the trick is this – after the mid-day meal take a moment to digest and breathe. The moment can be 5 minutes or 20 minutes. The amount of time doesn’t matter. What matters is that this moment is for me and releases me from the world around me.
I know I said I wouldn’t but I did. I added another goal for next week. I will try to remind myself to be in a state of mindfulness through out the day. To bring myself to a state of being in the moment and taking a deep breath. Mini-breaks to take stock in the beauty of the world around me.